My father and our relationship
My father and our relationship (or lack of it)
Last week my father (Arthur Ball) died on Wednesday the 8th of June 2016 at 5.05 in the morning at the age of 98. He was born on 29th December 1917 in Grimsby Town.
I was born in 1951 with a sister Christine born in April 1947. There was another child before Christine called Christopher but he didn't survive. He was never talked about and I know nothing about him. I often wondered if he had survived whether my parents would have had me.
Over the last 18 years since my mother died in 1997 our relationship moved from bad to worse but I had always hoped to have a good relationship.
Throughout my life he was never able to show me any affection or approval. My whole life was a constant search for his approval but even though many people told me how he would tell them all about my achievements he never ever took the opportunity to tell me if he thought I’d done a good job.
A week has passed since his passing and I am pulled between going and not going to his funeral. It has been suggested that I go to the funeral home to pay my respect there but even this is a struggle for me at the moment. My concern is that if I don't go I will regret it.
Last week my father (Arthur Ball) died on Wednesday the 8th of June 2016 at 5.05 in the morning at the age of 98. He was born on 29th December 1917 in Grimsby Town.
I was born in 1951 with a sister Christine born in April 1947. There was another child before Christine called Christopher but he didn't survive. He was never talked about and I know nothing about him. I often wondered if he had survived whether my parents would have had me.
Over the last 18 years since my mother died in 1997 our relationship moved from bad to worse but I had always hoped to have a good relationship.
Throughout my life he was never able to show me any affection or approval. My whole life was a constant search for his approval but even though many people told me how he would tell them all about my achievements he never ever took the opportunity to tell me if he thought I’d done a good job.
A week has passed since his passing and I am pulled between going and not going to his funeral. It has been suggested that I go to the funeral home to pay my respect there but even this is a struggle for me at the moment. My concern is that if I don't go I will regret it.
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